I was never really successful when I made these in the past. I think the reason was that I was too focused on setting a goal and running towards it at all costs.
With that in mind... buckle up pals, I am about to get a little sappy.
I have had a partner for about two years now. She's all the things a guy could want: smart, goofy, beautiful, and passionate. She's also a really amazing cheerleader and sometimes she helps me view things from a very different perspective. Over the past year and a half, when I would get down on myself for not being able to accomplish my goals, she would ask me to "reframe" the way I look at goal-setting. She suggested I focus more on desired feelings as opposed to desired outcomes or events. She referred me to the book The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte.
Now, as always I suggest, take everything I say with a grain of mustache. But this book helped me look at why I wanted those goals, which, as I discovered for myself, was the more important thing. I have found that when I set a goal, sometimes I barrel down the road and lose sight of why I started in the first place. As I travel towards what I initially perceive as the end goal, if there is a shift that changes the final event/metric, but retains the feeling I was going for, then it's still a "win," even if I didn't get there the way I had imagined.
The greatest example I can think of recently was teaching Magic classes online.
I was so focused on filling up my classes that it was beginning to feel like I was failing if I didn't get the numbers I wanted.
When she asked why I cared so much about the numbers, I explained the time, the money, but the biggest thing was I wanted was to reach as many kids as possible to help give them something to look forward to during lockdown. Well, with a little persuasion, I focused more on that than filling a class and making a certain dollar amount.
As a result, I moved to single one-day classes instead of a full curriculum. I am happy to say that after 20 months of teaching online magic lessons, I have reached over 10,000 students!
As you might expect, miraculously, the numbers started filling in here and there, too. I found a way to feel the same way with a very different path, and the byproduct was that I also reached the original goal.
If you aren't a reader, I would recommend the audiobook as well... that was the easiest way for me to digest it while in lockdown. :)
If you want to learn more about my girlfriend's work and projects, I encourage you to pop over to her site Chronic Health. I think everyone can benefit from her perspective. Then again, I am a little biased... tell her The Mustache sentcha! ;P
Hope you are all staying healthy and safe, and may all your desires come true. :)
John
Comments